ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!

I actually had to count out the "ch's" to see if I got the song right.

I'm sitting here at work, having last week started a short term assignment for a non-profit in midtown. Starting my proofreading class next monday, and heading in for volunteer orientation at a literacy non-profit. Book is coming out in August... and I'm twiddling my thumb. Doh-de-doh...

I really don't think anyone reads this thing, so I'm going to be honest here, more honest than I would if I thought it mattered so much...

I feel really lucky for all the opportunities I've been given. So I don't want to sound like a complainer. But I can help but feel frustrated that the ground beneath my feet barely seems to solidify before shifting again.

I was on a bus back from Boston a couple months ago, and I ended up meeting this writer named Rachel Cohen who was really neat. She had lots to say about writing and teaching and life and people. She told me this story about interviewing Norman Mailer for this book she wrote, and how he'd asked her: So when does the book come out?

RC: 8 months.

NM: Hmm... Maybe your character is stronger than mine, but take it from me, that's a long time. This is the hardest part.

I've been waiting over a year, and I still have 3 months to go. Since I've never shot anyone (yet), I certainly don't have Norman Mailer's strength of character!

I think I'm going to have to move again (for the 10th time in ten years), and I really don't want to. It's about money and not having the big important job I used to have back when I first moved into this place. I was talking with Ethan last night, and we decided that another move for me should be fun. That I should look at it as an opportunity to make things better for myself. Get a bigger bedroom. Get a closet. You know, stuff that's hard to find in NYC? It's all about perspective... or something.

Recently, all I've really wanted to do is leave New York. I really do love it here, but I'm starting to feel the pull of trees and water and mountains and air... I don't know where that would be exactly, but I'm beginning to think that a vacation there just isn't going to cut it for much longer. Maybe it's summertime, but I don't think so...

The frustrating thing is that I can't afford to move to the country just yet -- so if I do move, it'll have to be within NYC. Which is super expensive... I'm in a catch-22, I think.

Help!

This was a bit of a ramble... oops.